Song of the moment: Your Gay Friend Robbie Williams
Lord… today has been an emotional rollercoaster for me.
Should probably start with the basic update: Paul is in a relationship with someone. They’ve been ‘unofficially together’ since school ended. I got to spend this afternoon re-evaluating every interaction with him since break started and properly categorizing it. It’s always interesting, when things shift like that. It’s like someone came around and upended the table you were putting together a puzzle on. So you have to go around and pick up all the pieces and try to put them back together. Of course, you also have to imagine that, while doing that, you realize the puzzle is double-sided, so you put together the second side the second time you do it.
It wasn’t a very good analogy, was it? Fuck it.
Was I upset by this turn of events? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. But I really feel very detached from it all. We’ll be good friends- break has taught me that. And that’s really okay.
What’s more upsetting is not losing him, but the fact that I’ve failed. Again. Once more around the park for Sam here. The fact that, as is the norm for me, I’m relegated to friend status. Nothing more.
I started writing this last night, but I passed out part way through. Upon waking (and having the most bizarre dream, which, oddly enough, had nothing to do with the Paul situation like is should have), I realized how little this whole thing has impacted me. I just feel a little empty because I don’t have anything to pursue. So it goes.
Spent the day with Squeaks and Chrissy, watching 30 Rock. So, for the most part, I was in a pretty good mood. Joking with John Walsh and enjoying some delicious lasagna while Chrissy worked through her hangover.
Came back to EL and watched the season finale of Doctor Who. It was also David Tennant’s last episode as the good Doctor. Needless to say, I cried for 20 minutes while watching that episode.
Thing is… David was my Doctor. Any fan of the program has one Doctor that they love the most, who encapsulates all the Doctor is. For me, that was David Tennant. He wasn’t my first Doctor, but he was my Doctor. I will miss you, dear David.
Bonus link of the day: Clever. I should do something like that for my camera.