Emo Doesn’t Exist Anymore?

Song of the moment: Skullcrusher Mountain Jonathan Coulton

It’s four in the morning, and I’m sitting in Sean’s kitchen/dining room area, wide awake, sober, and bored as shit. And listening to Sean and Cricket try to tell two freshmen girls about college life. Namely, about the freedom of thought and some other such bullshit.

I find I have no patience for this kind of crap anymore. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense, because I simultaneously feel starved for real intellectual conversation and stimuli. I think a large part of it is that these are the same types of conversations, rehashed again and again. I have heard everything Swartz and Sean really have to say. I know how they think, and I don’t agree with it, and it becomes a constant argument where no side wins, and I just end up frustrated and without any new insight into life, the universe, humanity.

Oh, and now they are talking about empathy. Which I really can’t talk about, because I’m not an empathetic individual. At all.

Anyway, today was Ginger Stauff’s birthday party, and it was a fairly decent time. I don’t know, I can’t say I had a great time. I mean, I had great beer (Rogue Mocha Porter… one of my personal favorites), and I got pleasantly drunk without it being too much. And, at first, it was a great crowd. Even Paul made an appearance (though we barely interacted, which pissed me off greatly… I think I’m going to have to give this one up and pursue other possibilities with more gusto).

The funny thing was that tonight seemed to be a night for reestablishing old friendships. First, I saw Erik for the first time in about two years. It was hilarious, all of the old ROIAL crowd greeting him as he walked in. We awkwardly tried to catch up and promised to get back in touch. We’ll see if that happens.

Then, more importantly, when I arrived back from my escort quest with Grix, the room was full of freshmen I didn’t want to associate with. I sat down on the couch, irritated and considering going home. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore… Hersey and I started an argument with Swartz. Then, Hersey joined me on the couch, and we talked for almost an hour about the NFL and Players. It was like the old days (namely, my sophomore year).

At the end of it, when Liz was ushering him out the door (though him and I weren’t done talking yet), John turns to me and tells me that we need to get together with a few drinks more often. Because we are more candid when we are drinking, as our natural walls and barriers lower and we stop constantly sizing each other up and trying to one-up one another and just talk. I laughed, because he was basically asking us to go back to our old friendship. And it made me smile as I promised him that this was going to happen soon. And he smiled and grabbed my arm in that Hersey way that denotes camaraderie and good-will and told me he’d really enjoy that.

Like I said in a previous post, it feels like all the pieces of my life are falling back into place, that the world is righting itself around me, and I’m simultaneously thrilled and confused by it all.

We’ll see what life throws at me next, I guess.

Bonus link of the day: Hehe, I’ve tried to use these markers to determine interest before. It gets even more confusing if the individual in question is bisexual, because none of these rules are completely concrete.

3 responses to “Emo Doesn’t Exist Anymore?

  1. those folks are too scatterbrained. nothing new. nothing interesting. they arent even funny. i guess i thought theater kids would be interesting they are not except a few one. maybe i cant lie and actors do thats why i feel uncomfortable

  2. Yes, that particular crowd is about the least intellectually stimulating group of people one could possibly spend time with. With the exception of frat boys. Theatre kids spend their whole lives putting on an act, but there’s rarely anything of substance behind the mask- just fear and insecurity.

  3. we are all sick people. some folks entertain. i am derisive. fortunately i am not afraid of the abyss!!!!

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