Liquid [Crystal] Truth

A conversation between myself and a friend (Kayla) while shopping on Thursday… also known as “one of those moments when Sam acts particularly stupid”:

Me: Oh, mood rings! I had such a huge fetish for these as a kid! *pause* Well, okay, maybe I never grew out of them. I’m pretty sure I just bought one a few years ago.

Her: What happened to it?

Me: I broke it. I always break them. They turn a freaky gray-purple color.

Her: Is that supposed to mean something?

Me: I always assumed it just meant “bitchy.”

Her: You should get one. I want to see you break it.

Me: I’ll just put it on. Bet you it flips out and gets stuck on the ugly dinosaur color. *puts ring on finger*

Her: Oooh, it’s changing color.

Me: Of course it is. It’s just a thermometer. It’s science, yo. 

Her: You ruin everything. *stares at the ring* It stopped. Blue. What’s that mean?

Me: Nothing. It means nothing. It’s stupid.

Her: *reading off the card* Love. It means you’re in love.

Me: Told you. It’s stupid. I’m not in love. There are no cute boys around here.

Her: *grinning* Well, you were just texting someone.

Me: Yeah. I text. Big deal. So does that five-year-old over there. She’s probably better at it than me.

Her: You hate texting, Sam.

Me: So?

Her: So, every time you read one of those texts, you smiled.

Me: You act like I never smile.

Her: Not like that.

Me: What are we, thirteen? Are you really saying this shit? Would you like to braid my hair and have a slumber party while we’re at it?

Her: So, do you like him or do you like like him?

Me: I hate you so hard right now.

Kayla has known me for two months, doesn’t even know the guy, and already has me pegged. Motherfucker.

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