Wanted For a Good Time: The Right Kind of Doctor

Images and links NSFW. Really, you should just expect that from me by now.

Fetishism (or, more accurately, paraphilia) covers a myriad of sexual obsessions and desires. To give proper time to each and every particular type of fetish, we’d have to spend weeks discussing nothing else on this blog.

We all know I’m too ADD for anything requiring that level of dedication and focus, so we’ll have to settle for scattering some random fetish-related posts throughout the next few months.

We’ll start with one that I find simultaneously bizarre and extremely predictable- the medical fetish.

As children, we begin our journey of innocent bodily and sexual exploration through “playing doctor.” This is because medical exams are the one socially-accepted situation in which nonsexual, intimate physical touch, examination, and exploration occur. Gynecological visits are not candlelit, Marvin Gaye affairs. Physicals don’t have happy endings. The doctor’s office is a sterile, completely non-sexual environment.

And yet…

Medical fetishism is actually fairly common. The most prevalent (and vanilla) form of the medical fetish is the whole naughty nurse fantasy. Which I’ve always found ridiculous, because 99% of nurses look less like this

And more like this

But, then again, I suppose that’s why this is a sexual fantasy/role play kind of thing and not a situation we actually seek out in the real world.

Why a nurse? As we’ve said before, the realm of the hospital is a pretty non-sexual zone. It’s less about the nurse and more about what she represents. A nurse is regarded as caring and gentle. They are maternal figures. The uniform represents their authority, and while they might hold the power, a nurse’s primary concern is your well-being. In a sexual environment, this is a prescription (see what I did there?) for the woman to be sexually dominant, yet be focused almost solely on her partner’s pleasure.

Which, let’s face it, is a pretty damn good fantasy.

But the sexy nurse is only the tip of the medical fetish iceberg.

Medical fetishism is closely entwined with aspects of BDSM. We’ve already touched on the dom/sub role of the nurse and patient, and this is true when we extend it to a simulated doctor’s examination. In fact, most doms offer these medical exams as a common service. But, because these medical exams are so versatile, they offer room to explore many kinks, from bondage to latex to electro sex.

If you’re looking to try the whole medical exam thing on your own, never fear. You can fairly easily acquire the tools you’ll need:

The Garb

There are pretty much two ways to go about this: eroticized/fetishized or realistic. For the former, those scanty nurse costumes are a must, but you could also tart up the traditional scrubs (with minskirts, hotpants, and plunge v-necks, for example). In such a situation, the patient would probably end up naked and bound to the exam table, so some quality bondage ropes or other forms of restraint would be required.

For the more realistic approach, you’ll need scrubs and/or labcoats, surgical masks, hospital gowns, latex gloves… you know, just like in a real hospital. And these items are surprisingly easy to come by. Hell, you can pick most of them up at your local Walmart.

The Tools

Let’s face it- this is what you’ve been waiting for, galleons. You want me to show you the crazy accoutrements of the medical fetish game. And, to be honest, it’s the whole reason I wrote this post. I mean, sure, there are the stethoscopes, the surgical scissors, the reflex hammers… But those aren’t the really interesting tools, now are they? Let’s take a peek at the good stuff.

Cupping tools

Cupping is an actual “alternative medicine” (so… bullshit) used for the treatment of all sorts of ailments. Essentially, cupping is like acupuncture, except instead of sticking you like a pin cushion, your “doctor” creates little areas of low pressure (which we recognize as creating suction) on the traditional acupuncture points. There are a few methods of doing this, including using medical suction pumps. However, the most common method involves fire. Fire cupping involves heating glass or plastic cups

Then placing them over the skin

As the air cools, suction is created, pulling the skin up inside

Which leaves some truly interesting patterns on the patient’s skin

Spreaders

And now shit’s just going to get weirder. We’ll ease you into it with a pretty basic spreading device: a ratchet mouth gag. These are useful in dentistry simulations, especially. But if you can spread one orifice, you can spread them all. The most common spreading tool is the speculum. Used for either anal or vaginal spreading, the speculum allows you to examine your patient’s most intimate regions in a delightfully humiliating fashion.

Clamps

The world of medicine is full of clamping gear, oh-so-necessary in the squirty, fluid-filled world of surgery. You’ve got to be able to shut those gushing veins down, otherwise your patient’s going to bleed out.

Of course, in the world of medical fetishism, those clamps are less about saving a person’s life and more about getting your kink on. Forceps have a wide range of uses, from your basic nipple clamps to acting as yet another form of spreader.

But wait… there’s more.

The CBT clamp. A semi-innocuous looking device on its own. But when you say someone has your balls in a vise… this is what you mean. Turn your head and cough, indeed.

Pinwheels

No, not this type of pinwheel

This type of pinwheel

It is, quite literally, a wheel full of fucking pins. Actually called a Wartenberg wheel, this device was used by neurologists to test nerve reactions when rolled across the skin. Of course, this translates nicely to the realm of sex, which is all about sensation. Sex toy pinwheels are often a bit more elaborate than the old medical devices, comprised of multiple rows of vicious pointy bits.

I remember having a plastic version of a Wartenberg wheel in a play medical kit I had as a child. Looking back, my childhood was a lot kinkier than I realized…

Dear-sweet-baby-Jesus-just-where-the-fuck-are-you-sticking-that

Really, these belong up with the spreaders. I guess. But they are so mind-bogglingly fucked that I felt they deserved their own category. Plus, I don’t know, your run-of-the-mill spreader, while showing you things you might not really want to see (seriously, galleons, I cannot unsee those links), tend to be inserted into pretty normal orifices. Mouth. Anus. Vagina. The basics.

Urethral sounds, on the other hand, are a specialty class. Honestly, when you think about dilating an orifice, is your first thought really, “Oh, hey, I think I should shove something up my urethra to make it larger. Why? So I can shove bigger shit up there, of course!”

What the fuck? This is just too weird for me. Where is the appeal in this? Getting a catheter is not high on most people’s bucket lists, believe it or not.

And yet, people do it. It’s kind of a big thing with the medical fetish crowd. Whatever.

***

Of course, there’s more that can be added on here. Enemas and anesthesia are also big players, but they are really more their own fetishes that have become absorbed into the larger world of the medical fetish.

And frankly, I think we’re done here.

I’m going to leave you with this exceptionally bizarre (and rather sad) Christmas ad for the Heart Attack Grill, a fast food restaurant that seems to be capitalizing on medical fetishism:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s