Rule number 2: Stay in control. ~from Secret Diary of a Call Girl
Women’s magazines like Cosmo and… whatever other women’s magazines exist besides Cosmo (sorry, can’t say these types of publications are high on my list of favored reading material) are always quick to tout the importance of acquiring and maintaining a level of sexual control over your man. According to them, it keeps things “sexy” and “interesting,” while also allowing the woman to manipulate sexual positions to better suit her orgasmic needs.
The back-and-forth nature of power in the bedroom, while honestly important in keeping an intimate relationship from becoming boring as sin, isn’t anything new. It’s basically a staple of the healthy relationship.
Leave it to geeks, however, to take the concept of ‘sexual control’ to the next level.
Some time ago, we discussed the trance vibrator accessory for the PS2 game, Rez. And, while it seems difficult to imagine using the accessory for any purpose other than as a sexual stimulus, it’s not blatantly marketed as a sex toy cum synesthetic gaming device.
But we all know that the creators of said accessory thought about the sexual implications of the device. And in a world of controllers shaped like guitars and dance mats and bongos (Feynman would have loved the shit out of those), is it really any wonder that some developers would get the bright idea to incorporate sexual elements into their gaming hardware?
Clever gamers have been modding their existing hardware for some time to that very end. A robotics engineer by the name of Kyle Machulis attached a large blue dildo to the control of your garden-variety Xbox, hooking it into the controller’s vibration motors to make the love wand vibrate in time with the controller itself. So now, while you’re exploring Liberty City or the land of Ferelden, you can also be doing a little sexual exploring. Bow chicka bow wow.
People have also hooked up bullet vibes to Atari joysticks, as well as creating peripherals that attach to chairs to translate a game’s bass sounds into silent vibrations. It’s the video game equivalent of a washing machine, ladies.
Frankly, since the rumble pack was invented, people have been using their controllers as a means to get off. And, while sometimes difficult, they’ve been succeeding. A company called Sex Toys Pro asked gamers who’ve been seduced by the sleek lines of their gaming devices to write in about their experiences. The responses were overwhelming. Not only did these gamers share their stories, they also offered up some helpful advice about which games offered the best vibrations.
And the title that popped up the most?
Metal Gear Solid (Oh, SNAKE!).
But these days, it’s go big or go home in the world of gaming. And our geeky compatriots are looking to not just mod existing hardware, but create entirely new control systems steeped in steamy bouts of heavy petting.
First, let’s look at the Intimate Controllers created by Jenny Chowdhury as her thesis (that’s right- she sexed up video games for her thesis). Apparently, before working on this… creative thesis project, Jenny was given an assignment to create a Pong controller. Because Pong is such a simple game, the only real constraints of the assignments were to create a controller that sent left and right signals to a server.
Left and right… left and right… Jenny looks down at her hands, as is natural when contemplating left and right, when she caught a glimpse of some choice left and right real estate sitting on her chest. So, for the assignment, Jenny created a bra controller. Touch the left breast for the paddle to go left, touch the right breast to make the paddle go right.
Originally, she intended for the bra to be worn and controlled by the same person. But she got to thinking about the intimate dynamic that would be created if someone else used the controller.
I can’t exactly say her idea was completely original…
But Jenny wasn’t done with her sexytime controller escapades. After reading about Gamer Widowhood, where wives get all whiny and bitchy because they’ve married a gamer who wants to play DeadSpace 2 more than he wants to sex her up or listen to her constant nagging, Jenny wondered if she could incorporate her lingerie controller idea into a way to bring couples together.
So, she created a set of controllers: a bra and pair of boxers. Each article of clothing is equipped with six individual sensors, strategically positioned to increase the intimacy as players progress through the game:
The game itself is reminiscent of things like DDR and Guitar Hero, with the player having to hit certain sensors at just the right time. Based on the concept of a first date, the little game Jenny created to go along with her controllers has the players progress through various stages of a date, the intimacy factor increasing as they go along. To see the controllers in (extremely awkward) action, here’s a video.
While it’s still a bit rough around the edges, the Intimate Controller set has the potential to be fine-tuned (with more sensors and a more exciting game or set of games, perhaps) and used commercially for those couples wanting to spice up their love lives with something a bit geeky.
Until then, however, people may have to tide themselves over by resorting to some old-fashioned macking… but with a geek update, naturally.
The Kissing Controller is an experimental project by Hye Yeon Nam. By attaching a receiver headset to the partner and a magnet on the tongue of the player proper, the Kissing Controller allows your vigorous tongue movements to control the power and direction of a bowling ball onscreen.
A… bowling ball? I guess bowling just went from passé to geek chic. Huh.
And while these controllers are used to play specific games, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before some shady developer creates a game or two that takes advantage of the motion capture systems that have flooded the market.