The Adventures of Arachnut and Leg Dick

Portal 2 co-op is rather difficult. Even more difficult when a cute boy is there, distracting you by smelling amazing and having a sexy jawline…

I’m actually quite good at the Portal single-player mode. Once I get into the habit of thinking laterally, I don’t have a huge problem completing test chambers. Oh sure, there are moments that make me pause for a bit, and sometimes it requires me to do things I find difficult due to a lack of fine-motor skills and a penchant for getting queasy when doing some of the flipping, spinning, and flying portal tasks. But I’ve never had to resort to online guides to finish a game.

Until now.

I feel so dirty.

In our defense, we were both tired, so we weren’t at our best.

And while I had a lot of fun and thought the co-op mode worked really well, I feel like I had a major performance issue during it that I can’t blame solely on attractive men or being tired. I think my biggest problem was I never managed to get my mind into the right place for sideways thinking. There’s an almost zen-like quality to me when I’m Portal-ing. I’m utterly immersed in the game, focused solely on the task at hand.

But here, I found myself constantly yanked out of it because there was another person involved. He’d say something or I’d try to explain a half-formed idea, and whatever track I’d been hurtling along to Solution Town suddenly imploded. It wasn’t the fault of my partner, it was having a partner at all. I felt rather useless at a game I’m usually good at. It was humbling (and frustrating).

And fuck those last two chambers. Seriously.

Still, I had a great time playing it (even if I’m only mediocre at science). You know you’re doing it right when your partner insults you more than GLaDOS does.

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