As I was perusing sex toys this morning (as I am wont to do), I came to a realization:
A ridiculous amount of sex toys look like aquatic life.
And so I started thinking that, instead of keeping our sex toys all hidden away in underwear drawers (…totally not where mine hide), bedside tables, and boxes in the tops of our closets, we should instead be displaying them in well-lit aquariums.
Come galleons, let’s play a little game.
So… is this a little pink vibrator
Or a little pink fish?
Is this a blue device for double penetration
Or a bright blue jellyfish?
Is this a red male masturbator
Or a red sea anemone?
Is this a three-pronged purple fuckstick
Or a multi-limbed purple octopus?
Is this an oddly shaped pink bubble vibe
Or a frothy pink coral?
Is this a sexy blue tickler
Or an awesome blue sea slug?
Am I the only one seeing this?!