A Migraine Sufferer’s Prayer of Devotion

Thanks be to thee, o great Excedrin,
For all the benefits thou hast brought to me,
For all the pains and wretchedness thou hast borne from me.

O most merciful acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffeine,
May I buy thee more cheaply,
Sleep oh-so-sweetly,
As I take thee biweekly:
For ever and ever.

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