Sail away where no ball and chain
Can keep us from the roarin’ waves
Together undivided but forever we’ll be free
So sail away aboard our rig
The moon is full and so are we
~Seven Deadly Sins, Flogging Molly
Okay galleons, that’s it- I’m dead tired of filling out applications, of interviews that go nowhere, of dragging myself into my shithole minimum wage job 5 days a week. It’s time to take my life into my own hands. Finally answer the call of the sea that’s been in my blood since I was a child. Give in to the longing stirred by too many piracy-themed songs blasting through my headphones the last two weeks or so.
Galleons, I’ve decided to become a pirate.
I think it’s a perfectly acceptable life ambition. The open ocean, plenty of booze, taking what I want at the end of a sword or pistol. And the treasure.
Don’t even try to tell me the chests of gold and silver don’t exist anymore, either. Because that’s entirely untrue. Just recently, a farmer on the island of Gotland discovered the jackpot hiding under his field- over 600 silver coins, along with jewelry and artifacts, dating from the 12th century.
Isn’t it beautiful?
It’s waiting for us out there, galleons. Interested? If so, let’s sail off, find us an island, and start digging.
One rule, though. We’re going to have to steal a lot of citrus fruits on a regular basis, because I have a deep fear of contracting scurvy.