In Which Getting Buzzed at the Bar Gains a Whole New Meaning in Japan

Oh, my sweet galleons. I’m sure you are all aware of many of the… peculiarities of the Japanese sex industry. Hell, we’ve even touched on a few here. But only a few, because that shit gets weird fast.

Like the new bar that just opened up in Tokyo- Love Joule. On first approach, it’s just a nondescript establishment in the bustling Japanese city:

Meander inside the innocuous looking building, however, and you are greeted by a bar quite unlike your typical urban watering hole:

Love Joule is Japan’s first bar dedicated to female masturbation. Which is a strange bar theme, but hey, you can only go to so many faux cowboy saloons and skanky dance joints before you are looking for something new.

Of course, the question is: how exactly can a bar claim it’s all about lady wanking? I mean, is it a place for women to masturbate? Do you order a vibe and perch precariously on a barstool, buzzing your way to a public orgasm?

I mean, I guess that would explain the name- all that sexy electricity is bound to produce a few love Joules.

Sadly, the bar doesn’t actually seem to be too keen on ladies actually getting freaky with a dildo on their dance floor. Instead, it’s meant to be a fun, safe place for women to discuss sex and relationships. And when I say safe, I mean safe from single dudes coming up to the women and hitting on them (which, you know, is a bad thing… we’re dedicated to masturbation here, dammit, not sex), seeing as single males aren’t allowed in. Coupled guys are, however, provided they show up with their lady.

Because the best place to have “the relationship talk” is in a girly bar surrounded by fucksticks as big as your arm, designed to penetrate a lady in both orifices while massaging her innards with a soothing collection of old pinball balls.

The bar hopes to help eradicate the stigma surrounding female masturbation in a manner that is lighthearted while still fostering a haven for women to have serious, playful, and exploratory conversations about sex and men.

As far as I’m aware, the silicone joy wands lining the wall behind the bar aren’t for use in the bar proper, but can be purchased by ladies on their way home to test out their new knowledge on their knickered bits.

Or, possibly, they’re used to stir the cocktails. I’m really not sure.

Interestingly enough, the proprietor of Love Joule is none other than Megumi Nakagawa, the man who introduced the male masturbatory community to the Tenga eggs.

I guess he’s found his path in life. A solitary path.

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