Old Devil Moon

The full moon is steeped in mysticism and folklore. The most prevalent tales center around men transforming into lupine beasts, running amok and biting people and (occasionally) getting taken out by bullets made from melted down jewelry.

And while this all might seem like hokum (except for two guys I’ve known who legitimately think they’re werewolves… I wish I was making that up), if you’ve ever worked in a hospital/known someone who works in a hospital, you might swear up and down that the full moon brings out some of the more… beastly aspects of patients.

Even when I worked in a hospital, I thought this was bullshit. But so many people (about 80% of nurses and 64% of doctors, apparently) bought into it.

Well, thanks to sweet, sweet science, there is now proof that I was right. The full moon has nothing to do with psychological issues in people.

Excuse me while I go revel in how awesomely right I am.

Breaking away from my glory-basking, it’s actually surprising nobody’s done a study on this before. Maybe the scientific community at large thought it too silly to address.

But if we can study the physics of ponytails, we can surely study the supposed link between the full moon and an influx of crazies in the emergency room. And so, Professor Geneviève Belleville of Université Laval’s School of Psychology led a team of researchers who studied emergency room patients at Montreal’s Sacré-Coeur Hospital and Hôtel-Dieu de Lévis between March 2005 and April 2008. Belleville and company examined 771 folks who popped into the ER for chest pains for which no medical cause was determined. These patients’ psych evals revealed that many of these patients had anxiety attacks, mood disorders, or suicidal thoughts.

After comparing these admittances to lunar cycles, Belleville’s group found… absolutely nothing. There is no link between the moon and psychological issues.

“We hope our results will encourage health professionals to put that idea to rest,” said Belleville. “Otherwise, this misperception could, on the one hand, color their judgment during the full moon phase; or, on the other hand, make them less attentive to psychological problems that surface during the remainder of the month.”

Perhaps not the biggest revelation of your day, my galleons, but I relish any opportunity to be smugly superior in my badass correctitude. Also, it helps balance out the fact that I have to go in to work tonight and admit to my douchebag of a coworker that I was wrong and that Daedric armor actually does have a higher armor rating than dragonbone plate.

And why the fuck is that, anyway, seeing as dragonbone smithing is a higher tier of smithing and should, therefore, be better equipment than Daedric, because why should I even bother getting my smithing to 100 if I can craft the best heavy armor at smithing level 90, and I don’t care if dragonbone’s a little lighter, my stamina is so high it doesn’t matter, so I’m not going to wear it because Daedric protects me better, and if I was so very concerned about armor weight, I’d be a light armor wearer and learn to not walk my face right into enemy weapons…

I’m off topic now. I should go.

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