The Legend of Zelda: The Gently Used Headset (Part the Third)

IAnd now, for more thrilling heroics, silly humor, poorly veiled mockery, and something that I dearly hope nobody ever shows my boss so I don’t get fired…

***

(09:18) Sam: *doo doo doo doo*
(09:18) Sam: (Would you like to load last save? Y/N)
(09:18) Alissa: Yes!
(09:19) Sam: So enthusiastic, young adventurer!
(09:19) Sam: When last we left our heroine, she had just acquired the SHIELB from the friendly dryad Treesh and was making her way to the Natgrid Forest to find the wise man Potter at its heart.
(09:20) Sam: Zeldissa approached the boundary of the Natgrid Forest. The forest seemed darker than the last time she entered it. Louder. More chaotic.
(09:26) Sam: Zeldissa edged forward slightly. Very slightly. Less than a step. At this rate, she was going to die of old age before she managed to get even 20 feet into the forest.
(09:27) Sam: *OMG, hurry up* shrieked Yuniss from her pocket. *You’re an adventurer! Pretend to be brave for, like, three seconds*
(09:27) Sam: “It’s dark in there,” muttered Zeldissa. “I don’t have a lantern.”
(09:27) Sam: *Not my fault you aren’t prepared* Yuniss said. Suddenly, Zeldissa had an idea.
(09:28) Sam: She pulled out her COMPLETELY MANAGEMENT APPROVED communication device and said “Yuniss, conjure a light.”
(09:28) Sam: *Are you kidding me? That’s not in my contract*
(09:28) Sam: “You’re a pixel pixie. You have technomagic powers, right?”
(09:28) Sam: *Well, yeah, but they make me sleepy when I use them. Also, I don’t want to*
(09:29) Sam: “Would you like me to turn around and throw you in that lovely lake we were just at? I’m sure the sharks would just LOVE to meet you”
(09:29) Sam: *Jesus, I thought you’re the heroine- I thought you were supposed to be noble! Fine, I’ll make a light- you will owe me BIG TIME for this*
(09:29) Sam: And so, Yuniss did conjure a tiny light. It was pretty pathetic. And pink.
(09:30) Alissa: (brb)
(09:31) Sam: *game paused*
(09:35) Alissa: play (:
(09:37) Sam: Still, it was a light. And so, Zeldissa and Yuniss moved deeper into the forest. Papery leaves brushed Zeldissa’s face. The noises of the forest got louder and louder.
(09:37) Sam: Suddenly, a creature leapt out of the bush.
(09:38) Sam: *Oh no* breathed Yuniss, her light quavering as she shook in tiny digital fear. *It’s a Cassandraconda*
(09:39) Sam: The Cassandraconda opened its mouth and let fourth a piercing shriek that froze Zeldissa in fear momentarily. The monster began babbling, loudly, obviously preparing a spell. A really rude spell.
(09:39) Sam: (You are now entering combat. Would you like a combat tutorial? Y/N)
(09:40) Alissa: Yes
(09:40) Sam: n00b
(09:41) Alissa: -____-
(09:41) Sam: Okay, this is the creature: Cassandraconda (15/8)
(09:41) Sam: The first number is their attack strength. The second is their defense
(09:41) Sam: Here is the creature’s health: 45/45
(09:41) Sam: The creature is currently at full health
(09:42) Alissa: (what is the scale for attack/defense?)
(09:42) Sam: Here is you: Zeldissa (20/10) Health: 80/80
(09:42) Sam: Stop asking questions. I’m tutorializing you, grasshopper
(09:43) Sam: When you attack, the creature’s defensive strength will absorb a portion of the attack. For example, if you attack this creature at full strength, 8 points of damage will be absorbed, but it will take 12 points of damage.
(09:44) Sam: Spells, items, and trinkets can all have effects that impact the attack/defensive strength of yourself and opponents.
(09:44) Sam: (Oh, you’ll figure it out as we go)
(09:45) Sam: The combat system is turn based. Because the Cassandraconda is currently casting a large spell that will take multiple turns, you’re up.
(09:45) Sam: Combat menu: -Stapler Strike -Wussy Punch -Girly Kick
(09:45) Sam: What do you do?
(09:46) Alissa: Stapler Strike!
(09:47) Sam: Stapler Strike is Zeldissa’s signature move (right now). She holds forth her mighty stapling device and launches herself bodily at the Cassandraconda, viciously stapling her about the face.
(09:47) Sam: Cassandraconda (13/8) Health: 33/45
(09:48) Sam: (as you can see, using your Stapler Strike partially blinded the Cassandraconda, lowering her attack strength)
(09:49) Sam: The Cassandraconda continues her extremely loud, very rude chant. Zeldissa is appalled at some of the things the creature is saying
(09:50) Sam: Your turn again!
(09:50) Sam: Combat menu: -Stapler Strike (unavailable- cooldown 2 turns) -Wussy Punch -Girly Kick
(09:51) Sam: (remember, you also have an items menu you can access at any time)
(09:51) Alissa: What is my items menu? I do
(09:51) Alissa: I don’t think I have any items
(09:52) Sam: Items menu: -Sissy Health Potion (2)
(09:52) Alissa: lol so rude. I will just use Girly Kick
(09:53) Sam: Zeldissa launches toward the creature, landing a Girly Kick. Girly Kick is not very effective.
(09:53) Sam: Cassandraconda (13/8) Health: 29/45
(09:55) Sam: The Cassandraconda launches a Sonic Blast spell. Zeldissa is knocked off her feet and is disoriented, but takes no damage. However, her chance to miss when attacking has just increased significantly.
(09:56) Sam: Combat menu: -Stapler Strike (unavailable- cooldown 1 turn) -Wussy Punch -Girly Kick (unavailable- cooldown 1 turn)
(09:57) Alissa: Wussy punch -__-
(09:59) Sam: Zeldissa launches a Wussy Punch right to the Cassandraconda’s face. While it’s not usually her most effective attack, Zeldissa happens to punch the monster right in the staples she planted earlier. The creature screams in pain.
(09:59) Sam: Cassandraconda (10/8) Health: 21/45
(10:08) Sam: The Cassandraconda attacks with Slashing Blow. You take damage!
(10:08) Sam: Zeldissa (20/10) Health: 75/80
(10:09) Sam: Combat menu: -Stapler Strike -Wussy Punch (unavailable- cooldown 1 turn) -Girly Kick
(10:10) Alissa: Stapler Strike!
(10:10) Sam: Zeldissa readies her trusty stapler, runs toward the creature…
(10:10) Sam: And falls flat on her face
(10:10) Sam: Your attack misses
(10:11) Sam: The Cassandraconda hits Zeldissa with Belligerent Howl. You take damage!
(10:11) Sam: And your defense is lowered
(10:11) Sam: Zeldissa (20/8) Health: 70/80
(10:13) Sam: Yuniss mutters something profane and Zeldissa feels a surge of strength
(10:13) Sam: All cooldowns are completed
(10:13) Sam: Combat menu: -Stapler Strike -Wussy Punch -Girly Kick
(10:13) Alissa: Stapler!
(10:14) Sam: This time, Zeldissa’s mighty stapler falls upon the poor creature, creating dozens, nay, scores of tiny puncture wounds. Zeldissa continues the assault like a furious Ophis ninja until the creature falls down at her feet. Dead.
(10:14) Sam: (You are now out of combat)
(10:15) Sam: *You are SO lucky I helped you. That was the most pathetic stapling I’ve ever seen* said Yuniss
(10:15) Sam: Zeldissa gritted her teeth, but held the pixel pixie aloft so she could continue lighting the way through the forest.
(10:17) Sam: And so they continued, our heroine and her tiny sidekick, battling many a creature (which we will not detail here because the combat phase takes a long time and your narrator is super lazy). She faced the Pisa Serpent, the Jessicasp… there are a lot of snakes in the Natgrid Forest, okay?
(10:18) Sam: But soon, Zeldissa and Yuniss stood before the Two Great Gates that guarded the heart of the forest and the hut of the wise man.
(10:18) Sam: *So… now what?* Yuniss asked. *They’re just big, dark gates.*
(10:18) Sam: Zeldissa tried to open them. “And they’re locked. Of course.”
(10:18) Sam: *Remember, you have the SHIELB!*
(10:19) Sam: “Oh right, this stupid thing,” Zeldissa muttered, pulling out the SHIELB that was hanging from a string around her neck. “I don’t even know what to do with this.”
(10:19) Sam: *Well, look around* Yuniss said *It has to help somehow. Treesh and the Head…er Man said so!*
(10:20) Sam: (Would you like to look at the gate, to the left, or to the right?)
(10:20) Alissa: To the right
(10:21) Sam: To the right is a large oak tree. There is a hollow in the tree.
(10:21) Sam: (Back to gate? Look deeper in the hollow?)
(10:22) Alissa: Deeper
(10:22) Sam: TWSS
(10:24) Sam: Zeldissa looks closer at the hollow. There are two tiny red lights that look suspiciously like eyes inside the hollow.
(10:24) Sam: (Reach your hand in the hollow? Say hi to the eyes? Leave the creepy tree?)
(10:24) Alissa: Reach hand in, go big or go home
(10:25) Sam: Something bites you. HARD
(10:25) Sam: (Curse at eyes? Leave the creepy tree?)
(10:25) Alissa: Curse!
(10:27) Sam: Zeldissa screams a series of expletives that would make that crazy witch from session one blush.
(10:28) Sam: A tiny voice comes from the hollow.
(10:28) Sam: “Stop poking at my face,” it snaps. “Do you have the SHIELB or don’t you?”
(10:29) Sam: (Well? Do you?)
(10:29) Alissa: I do!
(10:30) Sam: “Well, give it here, give it here,” the little voice says irritably
(10:30) Sam: Zeldissa shoves the SHIELB in the hollow (probably a little too forcefully, but that thing BIT her).
(10:31) Sam: “Let’s see,” says the little voice. “ZELBISSER? Is that you?”
(10:31) Sam: (Is it?)
(10:31) Alissa: Yes..?
(10:34) Sam: “Okay then. Picture looks like you. You may enter” says the little voice, suddenly chipper. Its eyes flash green and the gate lock disengages with an audible ‘click’. Zeldissa reaches for the gate-
(10:34) Sam: “Wait!” says the little voice “Don’t forget your SHIELB”
(10:34) Sam: Zeldissa sighs, grabs the SHIELB, and walks through the gate.
(10:34) Sam: After a few steps… she finds another gate.
(10:34) Sam: Also locked.
(10:35) Sam: (Look left? Look right? Check out this locked gate?)
(10:35) Alissa: Check out gate
(10:36) Sam: That is one locked gate. Zeldissa cannot pry it open.
(10:36) Sam: (Look left? Look right?)
(10:36) Alissa: look right again
(10:37) Sam: Another tree! Another hollow! More eyes!
(10:37) Sam: (what do you do?)
(10:37) Alissa: Put the SHIELB in the hollow
(10:37) Sam: A tiny voice says “ZELBISSER?”
(10:38) Sam: “Yeah, sure, whatever. That’s me,” our heroine says, rolling her eyes.
(10:38) Sam: “You’re free to enter,” the tiny voice says. The eyes flash green, the gate opens, and Zeldissa enters the heart of the Natgrid Forest.
(10:38) Sam: Ooooooo
(10:38) Sam: Today’s adventure will be a two-parter.
(10:38) Sam: I’ll stop for now and commence it after lunch

(14:17) Sam: (Okay- return to the adventure from our extended break? Y/N)
(14:18) Alissa: Yes!
(14:20) Sam: Zeldissa stepped into the clearing at the heart of the forest to see a path leading to the door of a small hut. It wasn’t anything too elaborate, but it was well-tended and the smoke issuing forth from the chimney signaled someone was home.
(14:21) Sam: Our heroine walked up to the door. She could hear a man’s voice and what sounded like a chirping bird on the other side.
(14:21) Sam: She knocked
(14:21) Sam: Thrice
(14:22) Sam: There was no answer, and the noises inside the hut fell silent.
(14:22) Sam: Again she knocked. This time, she rapped out a little tune, because she was kind of antsy and just wanted this over.
(14:22) Sam: The door swung open sharply to reveal a bearded man staring down at her disapprovingly.
(14:23) Sam: “Why are you attempting to beat my door down with your raucous knocking?” he asked. His sweet tone was obviously forced and made Zeldissa feel about 2 feet tall.
(14:24) Sam: “Oh, um… Hello there. I’m looking for someone called Potter. Heard he lived here,” she stammered awkwardly
(14:24) Sam: “I’m Potter,” the man said. “What brings you to my home? And how did you get a SHIELB? You aren’t a resident of my forest.”
(14:25) Sam: “Oh, well, there was this dryad a ways back. She gave it to me. Really nice lady. Spelled my name wrong though…” Zeldissa babbled. Potter sighed.
(14:25) Sam: “Yes, that happens. I’ll send a message to her to get that corrected.”
(14:25) Sam: “Oh no, it’s okay. I got in just fine!” Zeldissa said
(14:26) Sam: “It needs to be fixed, child. There are procedures we follow here in Natgrid. Where do you hail from?” Potter asked, staring at her. She shrank back.
(14:26) Sam: “Oh, um… Ekovah?”
(14:26) Sam: “That explains it,” he muttered. “That Head…er Man never follows Hylian policy. Can’t believe King Clift let that dolt run Ekovah.”
(14:27) Sam: “Well, um, I’m not here about the SHIELB. I just needed one to see you,” Zeldissa said. Potter looked at her sharply.
(14:27) Sam: “Why?”
(14:28) Sam: “Ekovah is in trouble, sir,” Zeldissa said. “The Natgrid is trying to overtake it. I was sent here by the Head…er Man to find out if you know why.”
(14:28) Sam: Potter smiled gleefully. And a little wickedly.
(14:28) Sam: “It’s about time we wiped Ekovah off the map and made it all part of Natgrid.” He seemed supremely unconcerned with Zeldissa’s problem.
(14:29) Sam: *Hey! You! That’s our home! And we don’t want to be part of Natgrid!* came the chime of Yuniss’ tiny voice from the COMPLETELY ROYALTY APPROVED communication device in Zeldissa’s hand.
(14:30) Sam: “Well, that’s not really up to you, now is it?” Potter said. “Now be quiet, pixie.”
(14:30) Sam: “Are you responsible for Natgrid’s expansion?” Zeldissa asked, hand dropping to her stapler.
(14:32) Sam: Potter’s eyes flicked to the stapler, an amused smile on his lips. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, little adventurer.”
(14:32) Sam: “Answer me,” Zeldissa growled.
(14:33) Sam: “No, child, I am not responsible for the expansion,” Potter said. “I fear we have simply lost control of the forest.”
(14:34) Sam: “You lost control? Of a FOREST?” Zeldissa was incredulous. “How do you lose control of a forest? Buy some weed-be-gone and some pruning shears and fix it!”
(14:34) Sam: *Or a bulldozer* said the pixel pixie
(14:36) Sam: “It’s not that simple,” Potter said. “The harmony… or, rather, the organized disharmony of the Natgrid Forest is kept in check by three brave knights. Well, three knights. Well, three guys I call knights. Makes them feel good about themselves, you know. Used to be a fourth, but she vanished a while ago. I think she’s still around, but I can never find her. Short little woman. Wild hair. Talks a lot.”
(14:36) Sam: “You mean the witch I met earlier?”
(14:36) Sam: “Maybe. Did she trap you in a hot air vortex?” Potter asked
(14:36) Sam: “Yes!”
(14:37) Sam: He sighed again. “Yes, that’s her. But, like I said, she vanished into the wilds some time ago. Now it is up to my three knights to keep things in check. But the forest is large and their regions are vast. Things are starting to slip through the cracks.”
(14:38) Sam: “Well, how can we stop the expansion?” Zeldissa asked
(14:39) Sam: “You must speak with my three knights,” Potter said. “Sir Eaton lies in the Western Woods. Sir Hillyard is in the Eastern Tangle. And in the Northern Briars is Sir Hoppypomp… Hommypoo…. Hompanypour… Sir Ryan”
(14:40) Sam: “Speak with my three knights. Help them regain control of their regions and the forest expansion will stop.”
(14:40) Sam: “Sounds easy enough!” Zeldissa said. With a resolute spring in her step, she turned to leave.
(14:41) Sam: “Yes, well, good luck, I suppose,” Potter said. “I will speak with the Guardians of the Natgrid to ensure you safe passage to my knights. It’s the only thing I can do to help.”
(14:42) Sam: So, Zeldissa set out along the western path, to the Woods of Sir Eaton.
(14:42) Sam: The clamor here was louder and sharper than it had been in the past, but as Potter promised, she was able to pass through unscathed.
(14:43) Sam: Soon, she stood before a man sitting forlornly on a rock, doodling on a piece of paper and singing to himself. A song about murder. It was a little unsettling.
(14:43) Sam: “Hello sir,” Zeldissa said. “Are you Sir Eaton of the Western Woods?”
(14:44) Sam: “Why yes I am!” the man said jovially. “And who are you, purple haired girl?”
(14:45) Sam: “I’m Zeldissa. I’m here to help you, Sir Eaton,” she said.
(14:46) Sam: “Help me? What with? Oh, are you going to play the marimba while I sing? That would be fantastic. Always wanted a marimba player as my sidekick.”
(14:46) Sam: “Uh… I’m not your sidekick. And I can’t play the marimba.”
(14:46) Sam: “Oh,” the knight appeared crestfallen. “That would have been the best thing.”
(14:47) Sam: “I’m here to help you regain control of this region of the Natgrid,” Zeldissa said.
(14:48) Sam: “Oh, that would be great,” the knight said brightly. “But I don’t know how you can help me. I need a full-time helper. And you have the questing look about you. Maybe you could find me a bard!”
(14:50) Sam: “A bard? How would that help?” Zeldissa asked.
(14:50) Sam: “Then I would have someone to join me as I sing and cavort about this region. That’s what keeps the Western Woods vibrant, little girl.”
(14:51) Sam: “Okay… I’ll try to find you a bard,” Zeldissa said.
(14:51) Sam: And she turned and walked away from the knight.
(14:51) Sam: *I like him* Yuniss said
(14:51) Sam: “Yeah, he’s fine. But where are we going to find a bard?” Zeldissa asked.
(14:57) Sam: *Maybe in the castle town?*
(14:57) Sam: “There was a town?!” Zeldissa said.
(14:57) Sam: *…For an adventurer, you are REALLY unobservant* the pixie said
(14:58) Sam: “Okay… well, I don’t want to go all the way there and come back to talk to the other knights. I’ll just go ask what they need- maybe they’ll all need something from town.”
(14:58) Sam: *You’re so lazy* Yuniss said
(14:58) Sam: “No, it’s just smart”
(14:58) Sam: *LAZY*
(14:58) Sam: “SMART”
(14:59) Sam: *Lazy lazy lazy* the pixie started singing. Zeldissa shoved her in her pocket and headed for the Northern Briars.
(15:02) Sam: Zeldissa kept getting her hair caught in branches and brambles in the Briars. She cursed mightily, and a shiny little man popped out of the hedgerow.
(15:02) Sam: “Hey, you can’t use that kind of language here,” the man said.
(15:05) Sam: “Sorry,” grumbled Zeldissa. “But these brambles are terrible!”
(15:05) Sam: “Oh, I think they’re a great motivational tool,” the man said. “The trees that grow through them are the strongest and best in all of the Natgrid Forest. And the rest… well, I didn’t need them anyway.”
(15:06) Sam: “…Are you Sir Ryan?” Zeldissa asked, hazarding a guess
(15:06) Sam: “Why yes, I am,” the man said, puffing out his chest. “Sir Ryan, the best and most accomplished of all Potter’s knights.”
(15:10) Sam: “Okay. So… What’s going on here? How can I help you regain control of the Northern Briars?”
(15:10) Sam: “What do you mean, regain control?” the knight said. “I’m in perfect control of this place!”
(15:12) Sam: “Potter said you all had lost control of the forest and that’s why it’s expanding into Ekovah,” Zeldissa said.
(15:12) Sam: “Ekovah? What’s that?”
(15:13) Sam: “MY HOME,” our heroine said. “Honestly, it’s, like, 20 miles from here. It’s right on the border of Natgrid. How have you not heard of it?”
(15:13) Sam: “I only care about the forest,” the knight said.
(15:13) Sam: “Well, you need help, apparently, because the forest is out of control. How can I help you?” the girl asked through clenched teeth.
(15:19) Sam: “Well, I suppose I could use a trained monkey to climb up into the trees and help me pick the fruit…”
(15:19) Sam: “…These are fruit trees?” Zeldissa asked.
(15:19) Sam: “Of course they are!”
(15:19) Sam: *He’s batty* Yuniss whispered
(15:19) Sam: “Okay, whatever. You want a monkey. I can get you a monkey.”
(15:20) Sam: “Yes, yes. A monkey would be nice. Find me a monkey. Now, let me get back to work,” the knight said.
(15:20) Sam: Zeldissa sighed and started walking toward the Eastern Tangle.
(15:20) Sam: “A monkey and a bard? Seriously, where are we going to get those?” Zeldissa asked.
(15:21) Sam: *Psh, that’s your job* Yuniss said
(15:21) Sam: “Some helper you are,” Zeldissa muttered.
(15:24) Sam: Turns out, the Eastern Tangle was terribly named, for the land was actually quite tidy and tangle-free.
(15:24) Sam: Unlike Zeldissa’s hair
(15:24) Sam: Wandering among the trees was a tall knight with a serious expression on his face.
(15:24) Sam: “Um, excuse me,” Zeldissa said. “Are you Sir Hillyard?”
(15:25) Sam: “That is I,” the knight said, turning to face our heroine. “What are you doing in the Tangle, girl?”
(15:25) Sam: “I’m actually here to ask if I can help you out. Potter sent me,” she said.
(15:26) Sam: “Oh, I could absolutely use some help,” the knight said, running his hand over his head in frustration. “You see, while the Tangle is clean and tidy, the trees are… dying.”
(15:26) Sam: Zeldissa looked around and, sure enough, the trees had a sickly look about them.
(15:27) Sam: “They aren’t performing up to forest standards,” the knight said. “Our trees must be tall and strong and vibrant. But I cannot get these trees to thrive. If only I had a forest sprite to help me… but there haven’t been sprites in this forest in many years.”
(15:27) Sam: “I can find one,” Zeldissa found herself saying, and she started to wonder why she kept blurting these things out without thinking. Her hero trainer would be so angry with her.
(15:29) Sam: “Oh, that would be a big help,” the knight said. He strode over and shook her hand vigorously. “Thank you, little hero.”
(15:29) Sam: “I’m not that little,” muttered Zeldissa
(15:31) Sam: (fast travel to the castle? Y/N)
(15:31) Alissa: Yes, even though it might not work lol
(15:31) Sam: (Of course it will work- you’ve been there before!)
(15:32) Sam: Zeldissa clutched her magic teleportation stone and muttered “Castle castle castle castle castle” until the stone bathed her in blue light and whisked her to the gates of the castle.
(15:32) Sam: “Holy crap, it worked!” Zeldissa exclaimed
(15:33) Sam: *Of course it worked* Yuniss said *You’ve been here before!*
(15:33) Sam: (See?)
(15:33) Sam: This time, Zeldissa paid slightly closer attention to her surrounding, and she saw a small town nestled at the bottom of the hill below the castle.
(15:34) Sam: She wandered into town, where the smell of popcorn and feet was strong.
(15:34) Sam: “I’m not sure I like this place” our heroine muttered
(15:35) Sam: Still, she had no choice but to carry one. She visited the Royal Emporium, but it only had staples and health potions and something under a sheet that she wasn’t high enough level to buy.
(15:35) Sam: *carry on, not one
(15:36) Sam: (the narrator is terrible at typing)
(15:36) Sam: She left the Emporium and plopped down wearily on the steps. “That’s it, Yuniss. I don’t know where to get a monkey or a bard or a forest sprite. I can’t help the knights, which means I can’t stop the forest expansion, which means Ekovah is doomed.”
(15:42) Sam: “Did you say you need a monkey, a bard, and a sprite, fair adventurer?” said a voice from the shadows. Zeldissa turned to see an impeccably dressed man with a wide smile looking at her.
(15:42) Sam: “Yes sir, I did,” said the oh-so-trusting heroine of our story
(15:43) Sam: “Well then, milady, perhaps I can be of some assistance,” the man said with a bow and a flourish
(15:43) Sam: *Oh, he’s good* Yuniss breathed
(15:44) Sam: “My name is Terr, businessman, entrepreneur, and helper of damsels like yourself. You see, I can put you in touch with someone who can get you all of the things you seek.”
(15:44) Sam: “What’s the catch?” Zeldissa asked. Terr just smiled again and giggled slightly.
(15:45) Sam: “No catch,” he said, clutching his hand to his heart and feigning injury. “You wound me with your accusations, miss…?”
(15:45) Sam: “Zeldissa,” our heroine said, extending her hand. Terr smirked and kissed the top of it in a most gentlemanly fashion.
(15:45) Sam: “Well then, Zeldissa, come with me. I will show you to my man- he will get you everything you need.”
(15:46) Sam: And so, Zeldissa set off behind Terr, who wove through the streets and alleyways of the larger-than-it-first-appeared town.
(15:46) Sam: While she didn’t entirely trust his gentlemanly act, she liked him and hoped he could help her in her quest.
(15:47) Sam: Terr lead her to a small building at the end of a tiny road.
(15:48) Sam: “In here is the man you seek,” Terr told her. “Just tell him I sent you.”
(15:48) Sam: “Can’t you come in with me?” Zeldissa asked.
(15:48) Sam: “Oh no, much too busy,” Terr said. “But I’ll see you again, fair lady.”
(15:48) Sam: Zeldissa stepped inside the building. It was… as run down and dirty inside as it was outside.
(15:49) Sam: “Great,” Zeldissa muttered
(15:49) Sam: “Can I help you?” a Shady Character appeared behind a battered desk.
(15:49) Sam: “Uh… oh, why not. Terr sent me. Said you could help me acquire a few items.”
(15:50) Sam: “Acquire, eh? Yes, I can acquire some items for you,” the little man laughed and adjusted his glasses, giggling slightly. “Do you need some whiteboard markers? I just got a package, fresh from the markets of the Walled Marts”
(15:51) Sam: “Uh, no. Thank you,” Zeldissa said. “I need three things. A bard. A monkey. And a forest sprite. Can you help me?”
(15:51) Sam: “…Does it have to be a GOOD bard?”
(15:51) Sam: “No, I don’t think so,” Zeldissa shrugged. “Any bard will do.”
(15:52) Sam: “Then yes, I will help you,” the little man giggled. “They call me the Trainer. I will get these things for you, but I need something from you first.”
(15:52) Sam: “What is that?”
(15:52) Sam: “I need… 20 pads of sticky notes” he said. “They never order them for me.”
(15:52) Sam: “Sticky notes? THAT is what you’re charging me?” Zeldissa said.
(15:53) Sam: “Yes,” the Trainer said. “Bring me the sticky notes tomorrow and you shall have your… really weird items. You’re a strange girl, you know that?”
(15:53) Sam: “Yes yes, I know,” Zeldissa said. “I’ll bring you your sticky notes. Tomorrow.”
(15:53) Sam: “Tata, darling,” the Trainer said, waving as our heroine stepped back outside.
(15:53) Sam: (Save game? Y/N)
(15:54) Alissa: Yes!

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