The Legend of Zelda: The Gently Used Headset (Part the Fourth)

And now, more adventuring!

***

(14:18) Sam: *doo doo dee doo*
(14:18) Sam: (ooo, the music changed)
(14:18) Sam: (would you like to load last save? Y/N)
(14:18) Alissa: Yezzzz
(14:19) Sam: (invalid entry)
(14:19) Sam: (would you like to load last save? Y/N)
(14:19) Alissa: Yes!
(14:19) Sam: LOOOOOOOOOAAAAADDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG
(14:20) Sam: Zeldissa wandered into town, wondering where she could find 20 pads of sticky notes.
(14:20) Sam: “Where on earth could I find 20 pads of sticky notes?” she asked aloud
(14:20) Sam: (see? told you she was wondering)
(14:21) Sam: *I know!* Yuniss said. Zeldissa pulled out her COMPLETELY ROYALTY APPROVED communication device to look at the pixel pixie
(14:21) Sam: “You do?” Zeldissa was suspicious, because Yuniss had proven extremely unhelpful thus far
(14:21) Sam: In her mind
(14:22) Sam: *I saw a bunch of sticky notes lying around under Treesh’s tree* Yuniss said *I bet she can give you some*
(14:22) Sam: “Nobody GIVES me anything” Zeldissa muttered
(14:22) Sam: Still, she may as well check out the lead.
(14:22) Sam: (fast travel to the shore of Kolecksion Lake? Y/N)
(14:22) Alissa: Yes
(14:23) Sam: *zip*
(14:23) Sam: *whoosh*
(14:23) Sam: *twinkle*
(14:23) Sam: Zeldissa arrived on the shore of Kolecksion Lake, mere feet away from Treesh’s tree.
(14:24) Sam: “Okay, so the teleportation stone is pretty cool” she said. “You know, when it wants to work”
(14:24) Sam: *It always works if you use it right* Yuniss said. Zeldissa ignored her.
(14:24) Sam: “Treesh!” our heroine cried, waving her arms around zanily. “Hello, Treesh? HELLLOOO?”
(14:24) Sam: Treesh turned around. “I’m right here. Why are you yelling?”
(14:25) Sam: “Sorry, I’m just a little hyper after the teleporting” Zeldissa said. She looked down and saw sticky notes scattered all around her feet. When she looked up, she saw pads of sticky notes hanging amongst the foliage.
(14:25) Sam: “This…is a strange tree” Zeldissa said quietly.
(14:26) Sam: “What did you say about my tree?” the dryad asked
(14:26) Sam: “I said it’s a lovely tree. Quite tree-like. Lots of… branches. Leaves. Some bark. Good tree” Zeldissa babbled
(14:28) Sam: “Oh, isn’t it?” Treesh gush. “It’s the best tree. I love it”
(14:29) Sam: “Yes, well… I was wondering if maybe, you know” Zeldissa shuffled awkwardly. “Is there anyway I could maybe get a pad of sticky notes from your tree? Or two? Or, you know… 20?”
(14:29) Sam: “20 pads of sticky notes?!” Treesh exclaimed “Why do you need so many?”
(14:30) Sam: “Oh, you know… lots of use for sticky notes while adventuring. Labeling paths. Making notes about creatures. Marking secret grottos.” Zeldissa lied.
(14:32) Sam: “Oh, why didn’t you say so?” Treesh said. “You can absolutely have as many as you need.”
(14:32) Sam: “Oh, okay… then I need 20 pads” Zeldissa said.
(14:33) Sam: “Give me just a second,” Treesh said, climbing up the tree. Pads of sticky notes started to rain down on our heroine.
(14:33) Sam: “Ow!” she exclaimed as the sharp corner of one pad jabbed into her head on the way down.
(14:34) Sam: “Sorry!” Treesh said. “Maybe you shouldn’t stand directly under the tree, yes?”
(14:34) Sam: Grumbling slightly, Zeldissa stepped aside. Soon, Treesh was back on the ground.
(14:34) Sam: “Here you go, 20 pads of sticky notes,” Treesh said brightly.
(14:34) Sam: “Um… thank you,” Zeldissa said awkwardly, taking the pads and placing them in her trusty (slightly weird) satchel.
(14:35) Sam: “Come back and visit anytime!” Treesh said, waving as Zeldissa walked away.
(14:35) Sam: *I can’t believe you lied to her* Yuniss said
(14:35) Sam: “I can’t believe it worked”
(14:35) Sam: (fast travel to the castle town? Y/N)
(14:35) Alissa: Yes!
(14:36) Sam: Soon, Zeldissa found herself back in town… but it was still the same day as when she’d spoken to the Trainer, and she couldn’t go back until tomorrow.
(14:36) Sam: So, she wandered the street for a bit, looking for an inn. Or a comfy pile of hay. Or anything, really. She just needed some sleep.
(14:37) Sam: “Hey,” came a voice. Zeldissa gave the girliest of shrieks and jumped at the sound. A familiar giggle sounded behind her as Terr stepped into view.
(14:37) Sam: “You scared me,” she said accusingly. He just shrugged.
(14:37) Sam: “Who, me?”
(14:37) Sam: “Who else would I be talking to?” the purple haired girl fumed
(14:38) Sam: “Now, calm down, calm down,” Terr said. “I just saw you wandering around and wondered if I could help you with anything.”
(14:38) Sam: “Actually, I’m looking for an inn…” she said. His eyes brightened.
(14:39) Sam: “Oh, then you want to stay at the Break Room, it’s great, you just go down this road, then take a left and when you hit a T go right and it’s through some gates…”
(14:39) Sam: “Uh…” Zeldissa said, already lost.
(14:39) Sam: “Oh, come on. I’ll show you,” Terr said. He extended his arm to her gallantly.
(14:40) Sam: *Oh, he’s good* Yuniss said again
(14:40) Sam: Terr looked puzzled for a second, then shrugged. Zeldissa put her hand on his arm and he led her through the town, chattering all the while and smoking a fine cigar.
(14:40) Sam: Zeldissa had never felt so classy. Or dishevelled. Simultaneously
(14:41) Sam: Terr left her at the entrance to the Break Room, where Zeldissa spent a completely uneventful night passed out on a bed, drooling slightly on the pillow.
(14:42) Sam: In the morning, she once again powered up her COMPLETELY ROYALTY APPROVED communication device to find Yuniss yawning and wearing a tiny pair of digital glasses.
(14:42) Sam: “How… why… you’re a computer program. You don’t need glasses” Zeldissa said.
(14:42) Sam: *YES I DO* screeched the pixie, and the noise was so terribly shrill that Zeldissa just dropped the subject
(14:44) Sam: Zeldissa got lost about 20 times along the way, but she eventually managed to find her way back to the shady little street where the Trainer lived. When she walked in the door, he hopped up and down a little, clapping his hands together excitedly.
(14:45) Sam: “Oh, you are going to be so excited. I found everything you asked for” he said. The then stopped clapping and looked at her disdainfully. “Of course, if you don’t have my payment, I’m afraid we’re done here.”
(14:47) Sam: (give Trainer sticky notes? Y/N)
(14:47) Alissa: Yes
(14:49) Sam: Zeldissa presented the Trainer with the stickies. He was once again terribly giddy.
(14:51) Sam: “Great! Okay, here are the things you wanted,” he said, shoving three dark things into the light. Standing there was a disgruntled looking dwarf with a lyre, a very confused monkey, and a kindly looking forest sprite.
(14:53) Sam: “…You play music?” Zeldissa asked the dwarf. He just grunted and nodded.
(14:54) Sam: “Well, okay then!” said our spunky heroine
(14:58) Sam: And so, Zeldissa tromped back toward the forest (because she couldn’t fast travel with all those crazy followers)
(14:59) Sam: First, she stopped at the Eastern Tangle, where she introduced Sir Hillyard to the forest sprite. The sprite looked around the forest and with a no-nonsense efficiency, she set to work on the sickly trees.
(15:00) Sam: Sir Hillyard thanked our heroine, then headed back to work, tending his region of the forest.
(15:04) Sam: Then, Zeldissa headed to the Northern Briar, where the monkey leapt eagerly from her arms and into the arms of Sir Ryan. The knight began giving the monkey a series of instructions, which, strangely enough, the animal seemed to be listening to. Once the knight was finished, the monkey bounded up the nearest tree.
(15:04) Sam: Sir Ryan thanked Zeldissa off-handedly, saying the monkey would just help make his region of the forest even more amazing.
(15:06) Sam: Zeldissa rolled her eyes and headed to the Western Woods, where Sir Eaton leapt excitedly from his seat at the sight of the dwarven bard.
(15:07) Sam: The dwarf sighed and started strumming his lyre while Sir Eaton began singing boisterously, the two marching off into the forest. Zeldissa just kind of waved after the two before sighing and turning around.
(15:07) Sam: Only to find Potter standing no more than two feet from her, a small red bird perched on his shoulder.
(15:07) Sam: “I see you have helped my knights” the wise man said. “Thank you.”
(15:08) Sam: “I’m not really sure how this will stop the forest expansion…” Zeldissa said. The bird trilled sharply.
(15:08) Sam: “It’s okay, Aami. She’s a child- we can’t expect her to understand such things.” Potter said.
(15:09) Sam: “I’m not a child” Zeldissa said, stomping her foot. Potter smirked at her.
(15:09) Sam: “Of course not. Now, begone with you. Back to Ekovah. I have a forest to monitor”
(15:09) Sam: And suddenly, Zeldissa found herself poofed to the edge of the forest near the path to her village
(15:10) Sam: *Did that crazy guy have a bird for a friend?* Yuniss scoffed
(15:10) Sam: “Oh, yes, that’s so much weirder than a digital pixie in my pocket” Zeldissa said.
(15:10) Sam: Yuniss sulked
(15:11) Sam: Zeldissa traveled into the village, which seemed far busier than it had been recently. Villagers waved at her as she passed.
(15:11) Sam: She entered the home of the Head…er Man, who smiled (probably for the first time ever) at her approach.
(15:13) Sam: “Young heroine, you have stopped the expansion of the Natgrid” the Head…er Man said. “And the Safeguards are protecting and caring for our village again. At least for the next 90 days or so, the village is safe! We cannot thank you enough.”
(15:13) Sam: “Uh… no problem” Zeldissa said
(15:14) Sam: “Please, take this as a token of my esteem,” the Head…er Man said. “I used this when I was a young adventurer.”
(15:14) Sam: *There is no way that guy was ever young* Yuniss muttered. The gnome steward lunged menacingly toward our heroine, but the Head…er Man stilled him with a raised hand.
(15:15) Sam: “Forgive the pixie, Gnome. She is a foolish creature by nature”
(15:15) Sam: The steward grumpily returned to his post.
(15:15) Sam: “For your service to Ekovah, I present you with this…
(15:15) Sam: …
(15:15) Sam: …
(15:15) Sam: PAIR OF SCISSORS”
(15:15) Sam: (gasp)
(15:15) Sam: “Oh, I’m not allowed to wield scissors” Zeldissa said
(15:16) Sam: *Neither am I* said the pixie
(15:16) Sam: “Well, you are now,” said the Head…er Man. “Let no one say I am not a beneficent leader.”
(15:17) Sam: “This… is… AWESOME!” shrieked Zeldissa, streaking out of the hut, holding the scissors aloft.
(15:17) Sam: “Stop running with those, you little idiot!” the Head…er Man said. He already regretted giving the girl those old scissors. She was going to hurt herself.
(15:19) Sam: Zeldissa ran off down the road. She cut leaves. She cut flowers. She cut some very small twigs.
(15:20) Sam: She thought about cutting her hair, but was then really indecisive about it, and couldn’t do it in the end. Even though short hair would probably be better for adventuring.
(15:21) Sam: Soon, she was bored
(15:21) Sam: She put the scissors away and pulled out her COMPLETELY ROYALTY APPROVED communication device.
(15:22) Sam: “Okay, Yuniss, time to start our REAL QUEST” said our heroine
(15:22) Sam: *Duh*
(15:30) Sam: “Where should be go first?” Zeldissa asked
(15:31) Sam: *Let’s go to Eyetee* Yuniss said *I’ve always wanted to fight a wizard*
(15:31) Sam: “You have some weird life goals” Zeldissa said
(15:40) Sam: And so, our heroine started the trek toward Eyetee.
(15:43) Sam: The closer she got to the wizard’s fortress, the more tangled the cable bushes became. Zeldissa tripped a few times, falling among the cables. Bubble wrap tumbleweeds blew into her face.
(15:43) Sam: *BUBBLE WRAP!* squealed Yuniss
(15:44) Sam: “You can’t even touch it” Zeldissa muttered. But she stepped on the bubble wrap as she continued forward. It made a satisfying snapping sound, like firecrackers. Which Zeldissa also wasn’t allowed to have (along with power tools, knives, and certain types of cheeses).
(15:45) Sam: Yuniss squealed at the sound of the popping bubble wrap.
(15:45) Sam: But while the sound had been satisfying, the sound echoed through the barren land. The sky darkened as Zeldissa continued forward, and great towers started to rise out of the ground, hindering her path further.
(15:46) Sam: “Seriously, does this guy never clean up after himself?” she muttered.
(15:47) Sam: She gingerly (HAH- because you used to be ginger. See what I did there?) picked her way toward the fortress. The air got ever colder and the sky even darker the closer she got to the imposing structure.
(15:48) Sam: *I don’t like this* Yuniss said quietly
(15:48) Sam: “Neither do I” said our heroine. “I feel like we’re walking into a trap”
(15:48) Sam: *No, I meant the darkness. You’re going to make me conjure a light again, aren’t you?*
(15:48) Sam: “…Well, now that you mention it”
(15:49) Sam: *CURSES!* the pixie shrieked, but she grudgingly produced her little pink light.
(15:50) Sam: “Well, well,” came a voice from just behind our heroine. She spun to see a smarmy-looking man standing behind her, mystical designs etched onto his skin. “Now what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?”
(15:50) Sam: “Are you the wizard of Eyetee?” our heroine asked.
(15:50) Sam: “Maybe,” he said. “But who are you, in the daring little adventurer get up?”
(15:51) Sam: “I’m here on a mission from King Clift,” Zeldissa said, staring the wizard down. “I’m here for the Gently Used Headset.”
(15:51) Sam: The wizard’s eyes hardened.
(15:51) Sam: “Wrong answer, little girl,” he said. “SLEEP MODE!”
(15:52) Sam: Zeldissa’s world suddenly went dark.
(15:52) Sam: (It’s getting late. Save game? Y/N)
(15:52) Alissa: Yes!

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