The Legend of Zelda: The Gently Used Headset (Part the Eighth)

And now, for more epic questing (now with 90% more cliffhanger action).

***

(14:26) Sam: *doodly doo doo dun doo*

(14:27) Sam: (resume game? Y/N)

(14:27) Alissa: Yes!!

(14:27) Sam: (cool beans)

(14:27) Sam: Zeldissa walked away from the woman’s home, loot bag firmly in hand.

(14:27) Sam: She figured it would be best to go home to go through the bag of random items.

(14:27) Sam: (fast travel to Ekovah? Y/N)

(14:29) Alissa: Yes!

(14:29) Sam: (whizz. bang. pop)

(14:31) Sam: Zeldissa arrived back in Ekovah and rushed home, because frankly, she didn’t want to be stopped by another passerby needing heroic assistance for some trivial task.

(14:35) Sam: She shut her door and ran to the table, where she dumped the entire loot bag on the surface.

(14:36) Sam: A pile of really random objects fell out.

(14:37) Sam: Three highlighters (pink, yellow, blue), a ball of twine, some buttons, a very confused lizard, a magic 8 Ball, two broken pencils, and a very shiny gem.

(14:37) Sam: SO SHINY

(14:37) Sam: Zeldissa decided she probably wouldn’t need to take ALL of these items with her.

(14:37) Sam: Maybe.

(14:37) Sam: (please select which items you would like to add to your pack)

(14:37) Sam: (you have 4 inventory slots available at this time)

(14:37) Sam: (like items count as one slot)

(14:38) Alissa: the gem, the lizard… so tough..

(14:38) Alissa: the twine

(14:38) Alissa: the highlighters

(14:46) Sam: Zeldissa put the items in her bag (and shoved the rest in a drawer), then slung the thing over her shoulder and walked back outside.

(14:46) Sam: Sierra called to her from the area where she was coloring.

(14:46) Sam: “Zeldissa!” she cried. “Did you ever find that chalk?”

(14:46) Sam: (did you?)

(14:47) Alissa: No… I have a pink highlighter..

(14:48) Sam: “Oooo, that’ll work,” she cried. “Dez messed up my pony anyway. But I found some paper lying around at home, so highlighters would be great!”

(14:48) Sam: (give Sierra highlighters?)

(14:48) Alissa: Yes!

(14:48) Sam: (all of them or just the pink one?)

(14:48) Alissa: Hm.. the pink and yellow, I want the blue (:<

(14:49) Sam: (selfish heroine is selfish)

(14:52) Sam: Zeldissa told the girl “Not only do I have a pink highlighter, but I also have this yellow one for you.”

(14:52) Sam: “I’ll take it!” Sierra said, snatching the highlighters out of Zeldissa’s hand. “Thanks, hero lady!”

(14:52) Sam: “…That’s it?” Zeldissa muttered. “Thought I’d get some kind of reward.”

(14:53) Sam: *Isn’t being nice its own reward?* Yuniss asked sweetly.

(14:53) Sam: “NO”

(14:53) Sam: Zeldissa glared at the coloring child, then stomped away. “Besides, what would YOU know about being nice?”

(14:53) Sam: *I’m nicer than you!* Yuniss said. *Just ask the narrator!*

(14:54) Sam: (that narrator absolutely does not want to be involved in this- please do not drag her into it)

(14:55) Sam: Zeldissa contemplated dragging the narrator into it anyway.

(14:55) Sam: (oh god- are you really going to do that?)

(14:56) Alissa: (is this an actual question)

(14:56) Alissa: Because if so, yes, lol, I’m curious as to what the narrator will say

(14:59) Sam: (the narrator thinks you are both equally terrible)

(14:59) Sam: (there)

(14:59) Sam: (are you happy now?)

(14:59) Alissa: Yes fine

(15:03) Sam: (great. glad we got that out of the way)

(15:03) Sam: And so, no reward in hand, Zeldissa moved away from the girl.

(15:03) Sam: But to where?

(15:04) Sam: (where do you want to go?)

(15:04) Sam: (do you need to see your quest log again?)

(15:04) Alissa: Yes please

(15:04) Sam: (i hate you)

(15:04) Alissa: 🙂

(15:05) Sam: (Quest Log:

-find 3 Viko Root samples for Romeo

-obtain Only Slightly Grungy earpieces from Therdpahrty

-obtain Holy Pigtail from the lair of Sssssam

-save New Ophis from Cervar)

(15:06) Alissa: I guess I’ll do the other one for my peeps before I start the bigger stuff, I’ll do the Viko Root

(15:06) Sam: (New Ophis is doomed)

(15:06) Sam: Zeldissa decided that she would help Romeo and Mrs. Blessing by finding the Viko Root in the Natgrid Forest.

(15:07) Sam: And while wandering aimlessly around the forest, hoping she’d stumble upon something she’d NEVER SEEN BEFORE but that would probably be lit by magical sparks to denote it was a quest item seemed like a really tempting idea, she figured it might be wise to go ask Potter if he knew where any Viko Root was.

(15:07) Sam: After all, he knew EVERYTHING about the Natgrid Forest.

(15:08) Sam: (fast travel to Potter’s house? Y/N)

(15:08) Alissa: Yes!

(15:09) Sam: (kachow. fwish. glitter)

(15:10) Sam: Zeldissa stood before the home of Potter. The wise man sat in a chair on his front porch, smoking. The small red bird from before perched on a railing nearby. Also smoking. And twittering loudly.

(15:10) Sam: It was quite a feat, really.

(15:11) Sam: Potter looked up as Zeldissa approached.

(15:11) Sam: “I remember you,” he murmured. “The adventurer who helped my knights. What brings you back to the Natgrid?”

(15:12) Sam: “I was wondering if you knew where any Viko Root grew,” Zeldissa said. “I need some for an injured villager and a shopkeeper said you might-”

(15:12) Sam: “Oh yes, I know where some grows,” Potter said.

(15:12) Sam: And then he just kept smoking, while the bird chittered away. He chuckled a few times.

(15:13) Sam: “Uh… where?” Zeldissa prodded. Potter looked up.

(15:13) Sam: “You’re still here?”

(15:13) Sam: “Yes!” Zeldissa snapped. “You never told me where the Viko Root was.”

(15:13) Sam: Potter shrugged. “Aami, she asked if I knew where Viko Root grew, right?” The bird chirped once in what Zeldissa assumed was the affirmative.

(15:14) Sam: “And you didn’t tell me,” Zeldissa said.

(15:14) Sam: “No, I confirmed that I knew where some grew,” Potter said. “You didn’t ask me to tell you the location.”

(15:14) Sam: “…Seriously?”

(15:14) Sam: Aami let out a trilling little sound that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Potter chuckled.

(15:15) Sam: “Just tell me where the Viko Root grows,” Zeldissa said. Potter glared at her sharply and she cowered a bit. “Uh… please.”

(15:16) Sam: “In my garden,” Potter said with a shrug.

(15:16) Sam: “What?”

(15:16) Sam: “My garden,” Potter said, gesturing to a row of neatly tended plants beside the house. “It’s the orange one. Help yourself.”

(15:16) Sam: “That’s… that’s it?” Zeldissa asked. “Really? It’s that easy?”

(15:17) Sam: “I’m here to help,” Potter chastised. “Just go ahead and take what you need.”

(15:20) Sam: “Uh… thanks,” Zeldissa said. She walked over to the garden, plucked three orange plants out by the root, and awkwardly waved at Potter and Aami as she pulled out her traveling stone.

(15:20) Sam: (fast travel to Ekovah? Y/N)

(15:21) Alissa: Yes!

(15:21) Sam: (sprangle. fwoosh. blip)

(15:23) Sam: Zeldissa arrived back in Ekovah, deposited the Viko Root with Romeo, and received +1 barely-there-shoes of speed.

(15:23) Sam: (the narrator is tired of the side quests and needs to move this thing along)

(15:23) Sam: (deal with it)

(15:24) Sam: *So…* Yuniss said. *Therdpahrty or the lair of Sssssam?*

(15:24) Sam: (where to, brave adventurer?)

Requested users attention [Author’s note: There’s an option on our chat program to request the other person’s attention. When you press it, the other person’s chat screen shakes violently for a few seconds. It’s REALLY FUNNY to scare people with]

(15:25) Alissa: Therdpahrty! I want to make sure theres time for the lair

(15:25) Sam: (PAY ATTENTION TO THE NARRATOR)

(15:25) Sam: (SHE FEELS UNLOVED)

(15:26) Alissa: (I AM, lol SORRY)\

(15:26) Sam: (that’s better)

(15:26) Sam: Zeldissa focused on her traveling stone…

(15:26) Sam: (shwinkle. sproing. jazz hands)

(15:28) Sam: Zeldissa stood on the shore of Kolecksion Lake. She realized, standing there, staring at the sharks swimming lazily below the surface, that she really had NO idea where to go.

(15:29) Sam: She wandered over to Treesh’s tree, but Treesh didn’t appear to be there.

(15:29) Sam: Lobi was a short walk away, but she felt, down in her adventuring gut, that Lobi was the wrong direction. And nobody would be able to help her, anyway.

(15:29) Sam: And so, she turned and started walking around the edge of the lake.

(15:31) Sam: The lake was larger than she first thought.

(15:32) Sam: While meandering about the watery expanse, she heard a tiny *YOLO* from her pocket.

(15:32) Sam: She pulled out her COMPLETELY ROYALTY APPROVED communication device.

(15:32) Sam: “What, Yuniss?”

(15:33) Sam: *Because you keep ignoring me* the pixie said *I got bored and attuned myself to the energy of the Gently Used Headset.*

(15:33) Sam: “Okay…”

(15:33) Sam: *Which means that I can now sense where the remaining two pieces are* Yuniss said. Slowly. Really spelling it out for our heroine.

(15:34) Sam: “That… may be the most useful thing you’ve done this whole adventure” Zeldissa said.

(15:34) Sam: *Hey, I’m useful!* Yuniss squeaked. *Who gave you light? Who helped you cheat at cards?*

(15:35) Sam: “Okay, okay, you’re useful,” Zeldissa admitted. “But this is, like, REALLY useful. So, if you can sense where the other pieces of the Gently Used Headset are… where are the Only Slightly Grungy foam ear pieces?”

(15:36) Sam: *I…* Yuniss frowned a tiny, pixely frown. *There’s something interfering with the signal. It’s up ahead.*

(15:37) Sam: Zeldissa continued down the path. On her left, she noticed a cave entrance come into view.

(15:37) Sam: *There!* Yuniss shouted, pointing toward the cave. *The interference is coming from that way- I think the foam ear pieces might be in that cave.*

(15:38) Sam: “In THAT cave?” Zeldissa asked. The cave was dark and rather… damp looking. “Do I really have to go in there?”

(15:38) Sam: *YES*

(15:38) Sam: (are you really going to go into the moist, dark cave?)

(15:38) Alissa: Yes..

(15:38) Sam: (yes, the narrator recognizes the horrible euphemism there)

(15:38) Sam: (it was intentional)

(15:38) Sam: (you’re welcome)

(15:39) Sam: “Great…” Zeldissa muttered, walking into the cave. It soon got very dark. And there was a lot of water dripping off the stalactites onto her head. She did not like this cave already.

(15:40) Sam: “Yuniss, a little help, please?”

(15:40) Sam: *I already told you, this cave is interfering with the signal, I can’t get a read on the ear pieces*

(15:40) Sam: “I meant a light, Yuniss”

(15:40) Sam: *Oh…* the pixie sighed *FINE*

(15:40) Sam: And a pink light shone forth from the communication device.

(15:41) Sam: Zeldissa continued forward… only to reach a fork. The cave split, with one passage going to the left and the other one going to the right.

(15:41) Sam: “Is this… is this place a MAZE?!”

(15:42) Sam: *Uh… maybe* Yuniss said.

(15:42) Sam: “I could be stuck here for DAYS. I didn’t bring enough supplies. We have to go back”

(15:42) Sam: *Wait, no, I think I can help* Yuniss said. *Take out your traveling stone*

(15:43) Sam: Zeldissa did, and the pink light was directed at the stone. It shone a brilliant purple for a moment.

(15:43) Sam: *There* Yuniss said proudly *I upgraded it. Because I’m awesome*

(15:43) Sam: “…You couldn’t do that before?”

(15:44) Sam: *Eh, I didn’t feel like it* Yuniss said. *ANYWAY, now you can set a warp portal here. That way, if we reach a dead end, we can always just warp back to the beginning instead of retracing our steps and probably getting lost and dying because you are so bad at adventuring*

(15:44) Sam: “Thanks” Zeldissa said. “…I think”

(15:44) Sam: (set warp portal at cave entrance? Y/N)

(15:44) Alissa: Yes!

(15:45) Sam: Zeldissa set a warp portal at the cave entrance. “Okay, let’s do this”

(15:45) Sam: (left or right?)

(15:45) Alissa: Right

(15:45) Sam: Zeldissa confidently strode down the right-hand corridor.

(15:45) Sam: It continued in much the same way for a while, before she found another junction.

(15:45) Sam: (left, right, or forward?)

(15:46) Alissa: Forward

(15:46) Sam: Once again, Zeldissa boldly selected a direction and continued forward.

(15:46) Sam: She soon reached a corner, but her only option was to turn left.

(15:46) Sam: So she did.

(15:47) Sam: Which led her to another junction.

(15:47) Sam: (forward or right?)

(15:47) Alissa: Right

(15:47) Sam: Zeldissa turned sharply and went down the right-hand corridor.

(15:48) Sam: It led into a fairly large cavern. A fetid pool about 4 inches deep filled the space. In the far corner, Zeldissa could see something shiny. There were only two exits from the room- the lower one, where she entered, and an upper one.

(15:49) Sam: (go back through lower exit? go through upper exit? investigate shiny thing?)

(15:50) Alissa: Investigate shiny!

(15:50) Sam: Zeldissa decided she really liked treasure. And that shiny thing was probably treasure. And she WANTED IT.

(15:51) Sam: So, she stepped into the gross pool. Ripples spread from her feet as she crept forward, pushing into the dark corners of the cavern.

(15:51) Sam: About twenty steps in, she heard a noise from one of those corners.

(15:51) Sam: A loud, growling, croaking sound.

(15:51) Sam: And the splashing of water.

(15:51) Sam: SOMETHING was coming for her from out of the dark

(15:52) Sam: (well, it’s late. save game? Y/N)

(15:52) Alissa: Yes

(15:52) Alissa: UGH though

(15:52) Sam: Bwahaha

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