The Legend of Zelda: The Gently Used Headset (Part the Ninth)

A short section today, as I spent much of the time flitting about trying to resolve login issues. Because people didn’t save their goddamn login information even though they knew we’d be back on this project eventually.

Whatever. Here’s the small bit of adventuring I managed to churn out.


(09:28) Sam: *doo dee doo doo doo dee doo*

(09:28) Sam: (load last save? Y/N)

(09:29) Alissa: YES

(09:29) Sam: Zeldissa turned to face the noise coming from the far corner. She could see Yuniss’s feeble light reflecting off two large, shiny somethings that she assumed to be eyes.

(09:30) Sam: And then 4 more blinked open. And the creature moved into the light.

(09:31) Sam: It was a hulking creature, half frog, half… something else. Something almost lupine. A frogwolf. Wolfrog. Yeah, a wolfrog.

(09:32) Sam: *Oh no* Yuniss whispered. *That’s a rare Kolecktor Wolfrog. It is the biggest and the meanest of all wolfrogs. And it can smell debt.*

(09:32) Sam: “Errr…”

(09:32) Sam: *Oh my god, you are in debt?!*

(09:32) Sam: “Listen, it’s just some unpaid stabling tickets. From… a while ago.”

(09:32) Sam: *Unpaid WHAT?! You don’t even have a horse!*

(09:33) Sam: “Well, I used to have one,” Zeldissa muttered. “It got rustled by the guards after I got too many tickets. I miss Sprinkles.”

(09:33) Sam: *Awww, that’s a cute name*

(09:33) Sam: “I know, right?!” Zeldissa said. “Nobody else gets that.”

(09:34) Sam: *Well, how long ago was this?* Yuniss said. *The older the debt, the easier it is for the Kolecktor Wolfrog to smell you.* Yuniss hurriedly extinguished her light, but Zeldissa hissed at her.

(09:34) Sam: “Don’t leave us in the dark!”

(09:35) Sam: *Kolecktor Wolfrogs rely on their sense of smell* Yuniss said. *Maybe we’ll be able to slip away. When were those tickets?*

(09:35) Sam: “A few, uh… YEARS ago” Zeldissa muttered. Yuniss sputtered.

(09:35) Sam: *Years? YEARS?! Great, we’re doomed*

(09:36) Sam: Indeed, the Kolecktor Wolfrog sniffed the air almost delicately, drool slipping from its fangs to land with a plop in the water near its hideous webbed feet.

(09:37) Sam: It turned its monstrous head toward our heroine, all six eyes narrowing.

(09:37) Sam: It had her scent.

(09:37) Sam: Zeldissa knew she would need to have her wits about her for this battle. She couldn’t defeat the thing head on- she’d need to be cunning.

(09:38) Sam: And she wasn’t the most cunning of heroines. So she was pretty sure she was going to die.

(09:39) Sam: (All items currently available to Zeldissa:




-1 really shiny gem

-a lizard


(09:39) Sam: (oh, and 2 sissy health potions that you have yet to use)

(09:40) Sam: Zeldissa knew her +1barely-there-shoes of speed would help her avoid the lumbering creature, but for how long? She needed a plan

(09:41) Sam: She looked around the cave. From the small light generated by Yuniss, she could see that the wall was very uneven, with spurs of rock all around that could almost function as hooks.

(09:41) Sam: This continued on up to the ceiling

(09:42) Sam: There was still something shiny in the corner, but there was no guarantee that was useful and did she really want to get trapped in a corner with that beast heading her way?

(09:42) Sam: There were also the two exits, one in the lower portion of the room and one in the upper.

(09:42) Sam: (So… you have a plan?)

(09:45) Alissa: Hmm.. can I… use the hook-like rock formations to climb up and jump on the Wolfrog and (attempt to) scissor it in the brain?

(09:46) Sam: Zeldissa considered scaling the walls most epically to get above the Wolfrog, but the creature was getting closer and she wasn’t sure she’d have time to heave herself all the way up the wall.

(09:46) Sam: If only there was a way to slow the creature down.

(09:47) Sam: Or speed up her climb…

(09:47) Alissa: Use the twine to speed up the climb! Or lasso the thing’s feet together

(09:47) Sam: (which do you want to do?)

(09:48) Alissa: Lasso the feet together, it would probably still be quicker than me even if I used the twine to climb

(09:53) Sam: Zeldissa REALLY wanted to lasso something. Even though she’d never really done it before and probably would fail at it.

(09:53) Sam: But what then she realized that, in order to lasso the creature’s feet, she’d need to get it to lift one up.

(09:54) Sam: (wow, I don’t know what happened with my grammar at the beginning of that sentence- let’s just ignore that)

(09:54) Sam: The lassoing idea just might work… if she can get that creature to lift its foot.

(09:54) Sam: (got any ideas?)

(09:55) Alissa: Jump around and yell, maybe it will come towards me more and when its walking I can lasso the feetsies

(09:56) Sam: Zeldissa was brave. She was bold. She was a little foolhardy.

(09:56) Sam: She decided she was going to attract the thing’s attention, and while it moved, she’d lasso a foot.

(09:56) Sam: And so, she started screeching and hopping about, flailing her arms.

(09:57) Sam: The Wolfrog picked up its pace, from a slow shuffle to a… slightly faster shuffle. It did NOT lift its feet up when it walked.

(09:57) Sam: But it DID spit a giant gob of acid at our heroine, which she dodged… mostly.

(09:58) Sam: Some of it landed on her leg. AND OH SWEET OPHIS DID THAT BURN.

(09:59) Sam: (00000000) was Zeldissa’s arbitrarily-changing-from-the-last-time-we-saw-it health meter a few minutes ago.

(10:00) Sam: This is what it looks like now: (000000xx)

(10:00) Sam: The x’s are bad

(10:03) Sam: Well, now the creature is closer and it still hadn’t lifted its feet.

(10:10) Sam: Zeldissa had scramble/dodged most of its first attack, but she took damage. She REALLY didn’t want to get hit with the acid again.

(10:10) Sam: (so… any ideas?)

(10:11) Alissa: I guess I’ll just use the twine to climb without lasso-ing -___-

(10:11) Sam: Zeldissa tied the worst knot ever in her twine (because she doesn’t know anything about knots- we already established that). And fortified it with some tape, for good measure.

(10:12) Sam: While she was doing this, the creature swiped a slimy, clawed arm at her.

(10:12) Sam: She actually managed to backflip out of the way (ooo, skills), but the claws still caught her across the back.

(10:13) Sam: Her health meter was looking a bit sad (0000xxxx)

(10:13) Sam: And worse, she felt some of the slime from the creature’s claws still on her back. And it STUNG. Like…

(10:13) Sam: “Poison” Zeldissa whispered, horrified

(10:18) Sam: She wasn’t actually sure it was poison, but her mind jumped to the worst scenario.

(10:26) Sam: (brief pause for real work)

(10:56) Alissa: (and lunch   )

(11:45) Alissa: (and now more work)

(13:03) Sam: I guess you have lost interest in the story

(13:05) Sam: The game has been abandoned

(13:05) Sam: To rot in an attic somewhere

(13:05) Sam: Or a crawlspace

(13:05) Sam: Getting all dusty

(13:05) Sam: Unused

(13:05) Sam: Until it’s sold at a yard sale for $1 to some young thing who will LOVE IT AGAIN

(13:37) Alissa: Also, lol, I still love the sotry Sam, I would buy it for a million dollars

(14:24) Sam: Okay, well, I do not think it is worth a million dollars

(14:24) Alissa: well I would

(14:24) Sam: Then I really wish you had a million dollars lying around, because I could totally use it.

(14:34) Sam: (resuming)

(14:36) Sam: Zeldissa thought about scaling the wall using her fancy lasso, but she decided she was going to be EVEN BOLDER.

(14:38) Sam: She hurled the loop of the lasso around a scraggly hook-like rock formation above the creature’s head.

(14:38) Sam: It caught.

(14:38) Sam: And with a mighty (well, kinda girly) shriek, Zeldissa grabbed the twine and swung toward the creature.

(14:38) Sam: (time to do a dex check)


(14:39) Sam: (HO-LY COW)

(14:39) Sam: (that’s an 18)

(14:40) Sam: (and your +1 barely-there-shoes of speed will actually confer a bonus to this roll)

(14:40) Sam: (that’s a 19)

(14:40) Sam: Zeldissa swung through the air in a graceful arc, like a kamikaze swan.

(14:41) Sam: She hurled her legs out and slammed her feet into one of the creature’s eyes.

(14:41) Sam: It howl/croaked in pain and rage.

(14:42) Sam: She dug her heel into the thing’s squishy eyeball, then started running up the creature’s face, stomping on another eye for good measure.

(14:42) Sam: With a tiger-like leap of agility and power, she hurled herself atop the creature’s head and grabbed one of the tufts of hair growing in patches on its body.

(14:43) Sam: Zeldissa released the rope, pulled out her scissors, and began stabbing the beast about the head and eyes.

(14:44) Sam: Hissing, acidic (NOT POISON, heroine) blood spewed forth in Tarantino-esque fountains. A great deal of blood and ocular fluid seeped down the Wolfrog’s face.

(14:44) Sam: Zeldissa was incredibly grossed out.

(14:45) Sam: After about eleventy-billion thrusts of those tiny blades, the creature gave a great shudder and began to fall to the pool below.

(14:46) Sam: Zeldissa vaulted off its head, doing a few completely improbable turns and flips in the air, and caught the twine. She clung to her rope as the Wolfrog smashed into the disgusting pool with a great crash (and a tiny splash, because there really wasn’t THAT much water in there).

(14:46) Sam: Zeldissa’s arms trembled as she continued to grip the twine. The acidic blood on her back burned slightly. If she didn’t wash it off soon, it would start to damage her health.

(14:47) Sam: She waited a few minutes, but the monstrous beast didn’t move. Slowly, she lowered herself down to the water.

(14:49) Sam: (wash blood off in super gross water?)

(14:49) Alissa: lol I guess so

(14:49) Sam: (ewwww)

(14:49) Alissa: wait

(14:49) Sam: Zeldissa did NOT want to put that gross water into any open wounds, but she was worried about what would happen to her if she didn’t get that blood off of her.

(14:50) Alissa: can I use a health potion to stop the burning instead? lol I don’t want to die from gross water

(14:51) Sam: She decided to just down a health potion. Maybe the magic of the health potion would help combat the acidic blood.

(14:51) Sam: And so, she drank a sissy health potion. It tasted like strawberry cough syrup and battery acid.

(14:51) Sam: But, while she was gagging on the taste, she could feel it doing a little bit of repair work on her battered body.

(14:52) Sam: Her health meter climbed a bit (0000000x)

(14:52) Alissa: (wow that was sissy)

(15:23) Sam: A bit, yes.

(15:23) Sam: And it didn’t get rid of the blood…

(15:23) Alissa: -____-

(15:24) Sam: But the blood appears to be losing some of its acidity as it sits. Zeldissa thinks she probably won’t take more than one segment of damage total.

(15:24) Sam: If she were to leave it on.

(15:30) Sam: (I’m sorry- I’m just not feeling it right now)

(15:30) Sam: (Let’s just auto save and pick this back up tomorrow- I’ll try to be more focused then)

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